Redefining Romance - David Jay on Asexuality

February 7, 2013

So romance is about sex, right? By definition?

Not so, says David Jay. He founded the Asexual Visibility & Education Network.



Is this guy a Freudian? I agree that most people seem like they are only interest in (as the British say) "Having it off", i.e., sex; I should hope there would be some romance left. Also, plain looking guys, like myself, aren't likely to get asked by "hot" looking women to go on a date (I didn't). This isn't "The Big Bang Theory", where the hottie dates the nerd.

If all you think of yourself is a "Plain looking guy", and not an attractive, engaging personality, then it's not surprising that the "hottie" is not daing the "nerd".

If you try to appreciate women as wonderful human beings with whom it's worth while sharing your innermost self -- I find that is, as they say "better than sex"

I'm a woman and I agree with TonyG. Also, even if you're a plain looking guy, you can choose attractive clothing that reflects your personality. (Look into the French concept of "beautiful ugly.")

Thanks to Anne and David for this. This is a fabulous and thoughtful interview. As an asexual person myself, I love hearing people like David talk about emotional intimacy and really explore the possibilities of other kinds of meaningful human connections.